There is a strange moment in every player’s journey.
At the beginning you play tennis and you can still smile even after losing.
Then something changes.
Tennis becomes important.
And suddenly losing doesn’t feel fun anymore.
Recently I read a very honest comment from Iga Swiatek.
She was asked a simple question.
“Can you still have fun after losing a match?”
Her answer was very direct.
“When I lose, I can’t have fun.”
She said it with a smile, but with a sincerity that many players immediately recognize.
At the start of her career it was different.
She remembered playing Naomi Osaka in 2019.
She lost the match.
But she was still happy.
Because simply being on that big stadium court felt incredible.
Then something changes.
With time, stadiums stop feeling magical.
They become your workplace.
Matches stop being experiences.
They become responsibility.
And when that happens, your relationship with losing changes.
The problem many players misunderstand
Many players believe something is wrong if they feel bad after losing.
They think:
“I should take it more lightly.”
“I should still have fun.”
But this idea often creates even more frustration.
Because when you truly care about something, losing hurts.
That’s normal.
It’s not a mental weakness.
It’s a sign that the sport matters to you.
Great athletes are not indifferent to losing.
They feel it deeply.
The difference is what they do next.
A transition every player experiences
At first tennis is exploration.
Every tournament is an adventure.
Every court feels new.
Every match is experience.
Then a moment arrives when tennis becomes identity.
You don’t play just to play anymore.
You play to improve.
To prove something.
To win.
And that’s when the inner conflict appears.
You love tennis.
But you hate losing.
Something important to remember
You don’t need to force yourself to feel happy after a loss.
That’s not realistic.
A healthier approach is to accept three phases.
1️⃣ Disappointment
2️⃣ Reflection
3️⃣ Return to work
Many players try to skip the first phase.
But disappointment is part of the process.
It’s the signal that ambition lives inside you.
A small mental exercise
After your next loss, try this.
Take ten minutes and write three things.
1️⃣ One thing you did well.
2️⃣ One thing you can improve.
3️⃣ One thing you want to try in the next match.
Only three points.
Not ten.
Not twenty.
The goal is simple:
to transform a loss from emotional weight into useful information.
A truth many players discover late
Tennis is not enjoyable because you always win.
It becomes meaningful because you are chasing something difficult.
Growth.
Improvement.
The best version of yourself.
And in that journey, losses never disappear.
But their meaning changes.
They stop being the end of the story.
They become part of the process.
Even for a six-time Grand Slam champion.
by Federico Coppini
Mental Coach & Tennis Coach
Founder – Coppini Tennis Academy
🎾 https://www.coppinitennisacademy.com
🧠 https://www.federicocoppini.com